Waiting ...

So here we area month since I found out the I was pregnant again and then realized it was not a "viable" pregnancy. They know I am pregnant, but can't find the baby. The doctors believe it is in my tubes, which is leaving me with two choices, none of which I want to make. The longer I wait for a natural miscarriage the riskier it gets.
To be honest, though I am a christian, I am getting pretty sick of "religous" people. I feel the Lord told me from the beginning that something was wrong and that he would help me through it. I feel like I have accepted God's will. I am not denying God can do the impossible, I just know what he spoke in my heart.
My body is swelling and itching and I feel so tired. We had an evangelist staying with us last week of all things. It was very hard for me. He needed his clothes washed and ironed. Poor! Made me so thankful for my mother-inlaw teaching Bobby to help out. When my doctor heard what all I was doing she put me on modified bedrest. I can take care of myself and Braden, but other than that I need rest. (She knew full bedrest would not work.)
My blood pressure, which has been low is no high so it just feels like my whole world is spinning upside down. I am amazed at the insensitivity of people. We have no running water at church and knowing that at any moment I will miscarry there is no way I was going to the revival. My hormones are shot and I just feel like my world is spinning upside down. this the worst thing I have ever been through in my life, but I feel stronger than ever before. Funny? HUh?
Bobby is trying to catch everything up at work so we can visit our family and he struggles with being with me at the doctors or catching up on work. I say we know what the inevitable is, and we don't need him to be fired, plus I am ill as a hornet, just go to work! LOL!
Just praying that God will intervene soon. Sorry if I sound so rambly, but its a rambly time right now.